Independent on Sunday, The: Observatory

Secret Camera

If you want a church wedding with a fun atmosphere, we have just the thing. This is the world's first inflatable church, designed by Mike Gill of Southampton and soon to be available for hire for civil weddings. Standing 42ft high, the church has blow-up angels, pews, organ, pulpit, altar, Gothic arches, candles and stained-plastic windows. But nervous grooms beware: a carelessly discarded cigarette as you pace about before the ceremony, and ...

People

Celebrity conspiracy: A certain amount of hysteria concerning Private Jessica Lynch is doing the rounds. She was captured by the Iraqis on 24 March, and rescued on 1 April. So how come, it is whispered, two internet domains (jessicalynch.org and .net) were registered on 17 March? And, by a PR firm with US navy links? Woooo! A little detective work, however, reveals the sites were bought by a firm acting for the Miss New York City contest. Among entrants is Miss Manhattan, aka a distinctly non-military Jessica Lynch. Next case, Watson.

Celebrity reassurance: That nice Michael Jackson has released hours of home videos to the makers of a new documentary to show what a normal life he leads. Scenes include him romping around with young Macaulay Culkin on Christmas morning, and being surprised by Elizabeth Taylor dressed only in a bathrobe. How very like our own home life ...

Incoming: To custody on drink- driving charges, nine-times Olympic gold medallist Carl Lewis ... To a formal state of beatitude today, the inventor of the cappuccino, Fr Marco D'Aviano, who was, of course, a Capuchin monk ...

Outgoing: From the Scientologists, Oscar winner Nicole Kidman, leaving Tom Cruise still in ... $1,000, paid out by Stephen King on a handmade chocolate bunny, allegedly because it was staring at him in an unsettling manner ... Dr Robert Kleasen, 70, whose killing of two Mormon missionaries served as the model for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

It works every time

`Vladimir R', a 72-year-old from Mannheim, Germany, whose answer to his wife's nagging was to obtain a Second World War air raid siren. Every time she scolded him, he let rip. Police have now confiscated it

Captain Moonlight appears on page 27

Storyville

Married to the job

The wedding of the year takes place in Las Vegas today at the 2003 Ventriloquist Festival. Going up the aisle will be Valentine Vox, with his little friend Jeorge, and Eyvonne Carter and Twyla. Best man will be Ronn Lucas and Scorch the dragon, bridesmaid is Jessica Phillips and Daphne, maid of honour is Mallory Lewis and Lambchop, and officiating will be Sheila Loosley and Digger the dog. Reception after, where the bride will be toasted with a gottle of geer.

Eat the evidence

"Waiter," said the diner in a restaurant in south China last week, "there's an inedible worm in my meal." The manager came over. "Nonsense," she said, looking at the invertebrate. "It's perfectly edible." And with that she proved her point by eating it. Health officials are investigating.

Game over

Overweight people have been banned from Bulgarian TV game shows after an incident involving Diana Pavlova. On Russian Roulette, she failed to answer a question correctly, and so, as per the show's format, was dropped through a trapdoor. This was a mistake. Ms Pavlova is 18 stone. Her chair broke, as did her leg.

Tea, but no sympathy

For months the same ad appeared in the lonely hearts section of a paper in Haidian, China: "Attractive woman seeks lover ..." She would arrange a meeting, always in the same tea shop, order the most expensive items on the menu, and then disappear, leaving her panting beau to pay the bill. Last week, the mystery woman was unmasked. She is the owner of the tea shop.

Cash for trash

Poor Argentinians who comb the rubbish tips of Buenos Aires for anything sellable have a new outlet. Dutchman Mathijs de Bruijne is selling what they find to European art collectors. Connoisseurs have so far invested in a rusty knife and 400 old holiday snaps.

Sober as an Ohio fish

Highlights of a survey of laws still in force in the US: tickling women is illegal in Virginia, you must not get fish drunk in Ohio, in Florida it's illegal to fall asleep under a hairdryer, and sex with a porcupine is outlawed. Quite right, too.

Animal house of horror

The Pettingills ran an animal rescue service from their home in Delaware, with a website featuring cute creatures. When police raided the premises they found: 66 cats, 22 dogs, 22 birds, hamsters, chinchillas, lizards, gerbils, rats, ferrets, fish and a turtle - not all of which were still alive. Plus two toddlers, and a house so unsanitary it has been condemned.

Honesty pays

Months of job-seeking drove Angelika Wedberg to place this ad in Goteborgs- Posten on Sunday: "I want a well-paid job. I have no imagination, I'm anti-social, uncreative and untalented." The offers flooded in, and she has now been hired.

Dosha's bad day

Dosha the dog had a bad day last week. First she was hit by a car on a Californian road. Then a policeman shot her in the head to put her out of her misery. Finally, she was put in an animal centre freezer to await disposal. She survived it all, and is now recovering.

Bread mould found to have DNA structure three times more complex than humans' Romanian writes to his Prime Minister asking for one of his old suits in which to be buried German gets divorce on grounds that his wife moved in with a new lover just four days after their wedding Russian train conductors in hospital after head-butting contest to pass time on journey gets out of hand Canadian who spent $840 on lottery tickets in a month sues organisers because he did not win Serial rape claimant from California is rumbled when counsellors from different areas compare notes at regional conference Croatian teacher trapped in bedroom for three days after pile of books collapses on him Man's bid to ride lawnmower across US hits snag when his mower is stolen in Texas Guest firing gun into air in celebration at Indian wedding shoots groom in head

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