FORMER footballing genius George Best - the only man who has written more autobiographies than the Dalai Lama - is sporting a nasty shiner.

But surely the multi- livered misogynist can't have sustained this injury as a result of a fracas with a mere woman?

Here are a few far more plausible excuses:

He was trying to recreate a scene from his old Cookstown sausage advert - but stuck the fork up too far and pranged his eye

A freak roulette accident resulted in the ball flying face-wards at him, just after he had won pounds 50 grand

He walked into the door... of a warehouse packed full of his unsold books

An inexperienced barman pointed a loaded bottle of Bolly at him.

A bloke in his local pub cracked after hearing the "where did it all go wrong, George?" anecdote for the 654th time.

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