Men's Fitness: 7 Myths of sex; we yank the covers off bedroom falsehoods

As a red-blooded American male, you know plenty about sex. Unfortunately--and we're not judging anybody here--you're probably misinformed about some of the things you think you know. Faulty information about sex is everywhere: on the streets, in the bedrooms, on your local Fox station. So, before you get into any more trouble, we've gone and found the seven untruths you're most likely to believe, and replaced them with the real deal.

MYTH #1 If shed doesn't have an orgasm during intercourse, you must be doing something wrong.

Reality: Hey, we're all for giving her as much pleasure as possible--not only is it gentlemanly, but it decreases the chances she'll run off with all your CDs. However, Daniel S. Stein, M.D., medical director of the Tampa, Fla.-based Foundation for Intimacy, says only 30 percent of women ever have an orgasm during intercourse. (Which isn't to say the rest don't enjoy it.)

What to do about it: According to Stein, a woman is most likely to orgasm during intercourse if you stimulate her manually at the same time, or if you're in a position where she's on top so she can better control the pressure. If she still doesn't orgasm, it just means you need to try stimulating her more directly.

Of course, the best way to know what gives her the most pleasure in bed is to ask her, and to respond to her signals while you're in the act. In some cases, the more she gets to know and trust you, the more likely she is to be able to "let go" and have an orgasm.

And if she can't, despite your attention, it's not a reflection on your abilities: Nearly half of all women will not reach orgasm through coitus, no matter your best efforts.

MYTH #2 Bachelors have the most sex.

Reality: The fantasy of single guys going out on the town and getting laid every night is just that--a fantasy. In fact, according to the landmark 1994 "Sex in America" survey, the people having the most sex are monogamous couples. The majority of married men reported engaging in sex two or three times a week or at least several times a month, while fewer than half the single guys were getting it that regularly.

What to do about it: Single guys, stop worrying. While nobody recommends getting hitched just so you can have more nooky, neither should you avoid wedlock because you've heard it will be the end of your sex life. And married guys, stop gloating--you still have to take the garbage out afterward.

MYTH #3 You should always be able to last for half an hour or longer.

Reality: We've been conditioned to think that if a guy can't go on almost endlessly, he's somehow unmanly--or his lover will end up unsatisfied. In fact, while reports vary, most surveys have found that the averagesession of sexual intercourse lasts from three to 10 minutes--anything beyond that is gravy. And since, as mentioned above, most women won't achieve orgasm through intercourse, "you're going to want to round out your sexual sessions with other techniques anyway," Stein says.

What to do about it: Expand your lovemaking repertoire so you're able to give her as much pleasure as she wants before, during and after intercourse. Learn foreplay techniques, from kissing her all over to rubbing her in interesting ways. And if you want to extend your own pleasure during intercourse, try breathing deeply and slowing your movements to calm yourself as you approach the point of no return known as "ejaculatory inevitability."

MYTH # 4 Wearing a condom will prevent you from getting or passing along sexually transmitted diseases.

Reality: "A condom will greatly minimize the probability of STDs," says sex therapist S. Michael Plaut, associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Maryland School of Medicine. But condoms aren't foolproof, whether preventing pregnancy or fending off disease: "They must be in good condition, of good quality and used properly," Plaut cautions. Even then, you could be at risk for spreading or catching diseases that don't depend strictly on genital contact, such as herpes or venereal warts.

What to do about it: Unless you're in an exclusive relationship where you've both been tested for STDs, always use condoms. But remember that even though you've minimized the risk, you haven't completely eliminated it.

MYTH #5 You can't get her pregnant if a) she's having her period, b) you pull out before ejaculating, or c) you're wearing a condom.

Reality: These three misconceptions probably result in thousands of unplanned pregnancies every year. So listen up:

A) It's unlikely that a woman will get pregnant during her period, but not impossible--some women have shorter cycles, and your sperm can stay alive for several days once it's inside her. What's more, Stein warns, "some women, especially those with infrequent periods due to stress or other factors, can have spotting without a menstrual period--even during ovulation, when they're most likely to get pregnant." If it's really her period, Stein says, she'll usually have symptoms of hormonal changes such as water retention, cramps and the tiniest bit of moodiness.

B) "There is typically a small amount of seminal fluid, called pre-ejaculate, that enters the vagina before ejaculation occurs," Stein says. That fluid is chock-full of your future dependents. And just because you intend to pull out in time doesn't mean you're actually going to when the urge hits--even if you managed to do so the last few times. The result, according to Planned Parenthood, is that nearly one out of five couples practicing the withdrawal method for a year will face pregnancy.

C) "Condoms prevent pregnancy when they are used properly and are in good condition," Stein says. In reality, this translates into 14 pregnancies for every 100 couples who rely on condoms for a year.

What to do about it: Don't play Russian roulette with contraception--if you're serious about avoiding pregnancy, use a (nearly) surefire method such as the pill. Otherwise, wear a sturdy condom; if it doesn't "feel as good," neither does a shotgun wedding or 18 years of child-support payments.

MYTH #6 Six or seven inches is average. Anything less makes you less or a man.

Reality: This is another case where opinions vary--it isn't exactly the easiest thing to research. But recent surveys have found that most men average somewhere between five and six inches erect. Which means that those blessed with six or seven inches belong to a small, though large, minority.

What to do about it: Stop worrying already. If you don't compare yourself to porn stars or Tommy Lee, chances are you're average size or even above average. (Of course, this doesn't stop some guys: According to the book Useless Sexual Trivia by Shane Mooney, half of the men who undergo penile-enlargement surgery are already within the average range.)

If you do happen to be below average, so what? In survey after survey, women say they care more about a man's skill and enthusiasm as a lover (see, we're back to technique again)--and many smaller women are more comfortable with smaller guys anyway. "A large penis can actually be uncomfortable to a woman if intercourse is not performed in a sensitive manner," says Plaut.

MYTH #7 Refraining from sex the night before an athletic event will improve your performance.

Reality: "This myth dates back to biblical times, when warriors refused to have sex the night before they went into battle because they believed it would sap their strength," says Richard F. Spark, M.D., an associate clinical professor at Harvard Medical School and the author of Sexual Health for Men. "It lingers on today because athletes tend to be superstitious about what will or will not allow them to perform well in competition."

But when researchers from McGill University in Montreal studied the issue, they found that sex had no effect on an athlete's strength, endurance or, ultimately, success. (The exception proved to be boxers and other athletes whose performance depends in part on aggression--according to McGill researchers, good sex may lessen the killer instinct.)

What to do about it: If sex does weaken your performance, it's probably because you believe it will--and any negative belief can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. So relax, have fun, and be sure to get plenty of sleep. And if you need to retain your aggressive edge, well, it's your call.

Coming next month--Part 2: The seven myths of relationships. (Don't talk to your girlfriend before you read this!)

Writer J.L. Sullivan is misinformed about a lot of things.