Chicago Sun-Times: Online betting can't guarantee that you'll double your pleasure

It's not as though I really need any more vices. But a friend of mine is determined to make a gambler of me.

Why gamble, I figure, when I can throw away money on so many other things? There are $15 martinis, for instance, and designer sunglasses I customarily lose within the week, and hour-and-a-half massages, and on-sale cigarette pants that are, sure, a little snug now, but will be really something once I go vegetarian. ...

"I want you to learn how to play blackjack because I think highly of you," he says. "I want you to reach your potential."

He thinks I'd be a natural. This, despite countless demonstrations to the contrary.

"You need to have good money management skills," he goes on, "and you need luck, and you need brains."

That's where I get very quiet.

"OK," he sighs, "Quick blackjack test. You have a pair of nines against the dealer's 10. What do you do?"

"I know this one!" I squeal triumphantly. "I'd like to split."

"NO!" he bellows. "You'll just end up losing two hands. You stand, you stand." His face falls, and I know I have disappointed him.

In my more hopeless moments, I comfort myself by musing that gambling must be a guy thing. But then I received a Bear Stearns study that found that women dominate gambling ... online. Two gaming sites reported that 55 percent of their customers are women, and another listed its female clientele at 62.7 percent.

A press representative for the industry offered to set up an interview with a woman gambler who's a fan of the Internet. But when we finally talked on the phone, she was surprisingly skittish. She lives in New York and is in her 30s, but didn't want to go into more detail than that. The PR agent gave me one name for her, and she gave me another, so I don't think I'll use either.

"There's still a stigma about women and gambling," she said. "When was the last time you saw four women sitting around playing poker?"

I believe it was in 1983's "Mr. Mom," in the scene where the housewives bet for grocery coupons, so I ceded her the point.

She defined herself as a recreational gambler and had a lot of good reasons for betting online: Minimum bets can be as low as $1; some sites she researched had initial cash bonuses and better payout percentages than casinos; there's no peer pressure; it's a heck of a lot more convenient than Atlantic City.

She warned that it's important to check out the Web sites before getting in too deep. She likes to first call customer service and make sure it feels legitimate, and then she tests it out by betting a very small amount. Payout checks usually arrive in the mail within 10 days, she says.

I wanted to ask her if she ever splits nines, but instead I asked if she missed the casino atmosphere: the smoke, the sequins, the camaraderie.

"God, no," she said. "I've noticed, inevitably, either men hit on you or they start giving you advice on how to bet. If I was a man, I don't think they'd do that."

I gave my male gambling friend a call to hear his side of the story. "Guys like to tell women how to play the game, definitely," he said.

I asked him if men ever gave him unsolicited advice at the table. "That's usually grounds for somebody to get punched in the face," he said.

You won't get that online.

So what's the appeal of casinos? I asked him.

"Complimentary drinks," he said, and changed the subject. "Quick blackjack test: If you have a seven and a three, and the dealer is showing a nine, what's your move?"

"Hit!" I said.

"Noooo," he said. "You double down. Have you been practicing at all? Do you even remember when you're supposed to triple down?"

"Wait--I know this one. ..."

He sighed. "That was a trick question."