Hookahs, hubbly bubblies, nargiles or waterpipes, once associated with drinking-den decadence and smoked in Turkey since the 17th century, are now the preserve of more touristy lairs. And rather than hallucinatory substances (opium is now banned), the choice is between tobacco, straight and strong, and fruity infusions such as apple or cherry tobacco. Mesale (25), Arasta Bazaar 45 Sultanahmet (00 90 212 528 3875), is a nargile cafe in a sunken courtyard below the Blue Mosque, with low-slung seats scattered with cushions beneath the trees. A cherry waterpipe costs pounds 2. Nargile cafes are unlicenced, so you can take your smoke with gritty, sweet Turkish coffee or aromatic apple tea. There's Dervish dancing from 7-10pm on Friday, Saturday and Sundays.
Buy a postcard of the mosaic in Haghia Sophia featuring Christ flanked by the 11th-century Empress Zoe and her third husband. One of the few women to rule Byzantium, Empress Zoe was a virgin until she was 50. Suddenly realising what she had been missing, she proceeded to romp through both husbands and lovers. Write it in the grounds of Topkapi Palace (24), Sogukcesme Sokak (00 90 212 512 0484, pounds 6), the huge complex that for more than three centuries was the centre of the Ottoman Empire, after visiting the harem, where women with decidedly less sexual freedom once spent their days.
At the top of the hill in Yildiz Park is Malta Kosku (22) (00 90 212 258 9453), a grand 1870s classical pavilion - all peach paintwork and columns - and a favourite brunch spot for locals. Tables on the terrace under umbrellas and a leaf-strewn canopy have panoramic views down on to the city and the Bosphorus beyond. Brunch costs pounds 3.50 per person. Alternatively head to KaVe (23), Tunel Gecidi 10 (00 90 212 251 4338), a cafe in an old 19th-century arcade lined with Victorian lamps and potted plants.
WHY GO NOW?
Autumn, when the stifling heat starts to seep from alleys that echo with the muezzin's haunting call to prayer and the pushy patter of carpet sellers, is one of the best times to visit Istanbul. In this exotic city of soaring minarets and bustling bazaars, straddling the border between East and West, temperatures now hover around a balmy 26C.
BEAM DOWN
I flew with Turkish Airlines (020-7766 9300, www.turkishairlines.com), which has direct flights to Istanbul's Ataturk airport three times a day from Heathrow, and four times a week from Manchester. A return flight costs from pounds 176. British Airways (0845 77 333 77, www.ba.com) also flies direct twice daily from Heathrow and has flights from pounds 179. Before passing through passport control, British tourists have to buy a pounds 10 visa. The swanky new airport is around 25km west of the city centre. If you're staying in Beyoglu (downtown) take the airport express bus (around pounds 2) to Taksim Square (1), otherwise take one of the incredibly cheap taxis. The 30-minute trip to Sultanahmet (old Istanbul proper) costs under pounds 5.
GET YOUR BEARINGS
Istanbul sprawls across the watery divide between Europe and Asia. The Bosphorus, which separates the Asian from the European side, flows into the Sea of Marmara, while the European quarter is split again by the Golden Horn, an estuary spanned by the Galata and Ataturk bridges. South of the Golden Horn is Sultanahmet and the Bazaar quarter where you'll find most of the tourist hotels and sights, while on the northern side is Beyoglu, the nightlife hub - more skyscrapers than minarets. The Asian shore - think suburbs rather than sights - has a spattering of good markets, shops and cafes. Each area is easily explored on foot, although public transport is good (hop on a sparklingly clean air-conditioned tram in Sultanahmet for just 25p). There's no central tourist information centre, but instead a number of small offices, including one in Sultanahmet Square (2) and another in the railway station at Sirkeci (3) (not much cop and out of maps), where glamorous travellers once disembarked from the Orient Express.
CHECK IN
Istanbul has no shortage of accommodation. Most of the five-star options are in Beyoglu, while the budget and mid-range hotels, including a number of old Ottoman properties converted into atmospheric boutique hotels, can be found in Sultanahmet. Yesil Ev (4), Kabasakal Caddesi 5 (00 90 212 517 6785), is one of the best of the restored Ottoman houses. Doubles from $160 (pounds 102). The luxurious Four Seasons (5), 1 Tevkifhane Sokak, Sultanahmet (00 90 212 638 82 00, www.fshr.com), in an old prison (think Midnight Express) has doubles from $290 (pounds 195). Just round the corner the quirky little Hotel Empress Zoe (6), Akbiyik Caddesi, Adliye Sokak 10, (00 90 212 518 2504, www.emzoe.com) has been converted from part of a 15th-century hamam. From the rooftop bar you can watch the sun set over the Bosphorus. Doubles from $70 (pounds 45) including breakfast - 10 per cent less if you pay cash. If that's still too expensive, the Orient Hostel (7), Akbiyik Caddesi 13 (00 90 212 517 9493) has basic but clean doubles from pounds 11.
TAKE A VIEW
The Galata Tower (8) in Beyoglu was built in AD528 during the reign of Byzantine Emperor Justinian (Tues-Sun pounds 2, Mon pounds 1). The tower is at the top of a steep hill and then a further 61m high - luckily there's a lift. On the eighth floor is a restaurant and on the ninth a nightclub. Go during the day for the 360-degree views from the platform outside - unless you want to get roped into a Turkish belly-dancing extravaganza.
TAKE A HIKE
From Sultanahmet Square (2) walk through the landscaped gardens to the magnificent Blue Mosque (9), the only one outside Mecca to have six spiky minarets. Double back to The Pudding Shop (10), 18 Divan Yolu, the cafe loved by travellers on the hippie trail and made famous by the film Midnight Express, before taking a brief detour underground. The Yerebatan Sarayi or Sunken Palace (11), Yerebatan Caddesi 13 (00 90 212 522 1259, open 9am-5.30pm, pounds 3) has also had its moment of cinematic fame. James Bond rowed through this eerie but grand cistern in From Russia With Love. From here walk down the hill to the waterfront at Eminonu (12).
LUNCH ON THE RUN
Join the throng queuing for a hot fish sandwich (grilled straight from the slightly murky-Bosphorus, slapped into a chunk of bread with slabs of juicy red tomato, for 60p) down at the ferry hub at Eminonu. Men in fancy brocade waistcoats cook their catch in tiny boats bobbing between the ferries, while along the waterfront fishermen hang their rods over the railings.
TAKE A RIDE
Ignore the touts selling tours of the Bosphorus and jump on a ferry with the locals across to the Asian shore. These old state-run dinosaurs churn across the choppy waters of the harbour. Sit up on deck on the old wooden benches, windblown by the salty air. A ferry from Eminonu to Uskudar costs a mere 30p. After a brief wander, hop on another to Karakoy on the northern side of the Golden Horn.
CULTURAL AFTERNOON
Visit a hamam or Turkish bathhouse for a steam and a scrub. Hamams, as much a part of Islamic culture as the mosques, are traditionally divided into two sections, one for men and one for women. Cemberlitas Hamam (13) Vezirhan Caddesi 8 (00 90 212 522 7974, open 6am-midnight daily, $8/pounds 5 or $15/pounds 10 with massage) was built in 1584 by order of the Sultan's wife and is one of the most dramatic architecturally. After changing into a brightly checked pestemal, or sarong, you enter the grand marble steam room and lie on the heated marble slab in the centre. Gazing up at the domed ceiling, watching the light softly filter through the steam, a bucket of soapy suds slopped all over you signals that the cleansing (plus tendon- torturing massage) is about to begin.
A WALK IN THE WOODS
Yildiz Park (21) in Besiktas is a thickly wooded hillside laced with a labyrinth of paths, part cobbled, part earth. Hiking up beneath the canopy of leaves, the air pungent, scented with damp soil and decaying leaves, and birdsong the only sound, you could be a million miles away from downtown Istanbul.
SUNDAY MORNING: GO TO CHURCH
First a church, then a mosque, now deconsecrated and a museum, Haghia Sofia (20), Sultanahmet Square (00 90 212 522 1750, Tues-Sun 9.30am-4.30pm, pounds 6) is where East and West meet. Emperor Justinian consecrated the magnificent salmon-pink cathedral, its interior decked out with intricate mosaics, in AD537. (Its dome was the largest in Christendom until St Peter's was built a thousand years later). In 1453 the Ottomans marched on what was then Constantinople and turned the cathedral into a mosque, adding four spindly minarets. When the new Turkish Republic was formed in 1934 the Christians asked for their church back. The compromise: it was turned into a museum.
DINNER WITH THE LOCALS
