Chicago Sun-Times: [ The fan fiasco ... ]

The fan fiasco ...

Sneed hears rumbles State Police are investigating death threats left at the workplace of Steven Bartman, the unfortunate Chicago Cubs fan whose hand may have been instrumental in keeping the team out of the World Series.

Sneedless to say, desist. Get over it. Bartman is not a bad guy in comparison to the idiots making the phone calls. The Cubs could have pulled it off in Game 7 against the Florida Marlins -- and choked.

Case closed.

The fan refuge ...

Dateline: The safety line . . . Cardinal Francis George, a huge Cubs fan, weighed in on the Cubs' pennant loss -- even though he's in Rome for Pope John Paul II's 25th papal anniversary -- and tossed a life ring to beleaguered fan Bartman.

Quoth Cardinal George: "I'm offering political refuge to the Chicago fan, whose life is undoubtedly in danger. He can live on the third floor of the [cardinal's] residence" on North State Parkway.

FANtasia ...

Dateline: The chump line . . . A movie studio in California claims it is considering making a film inspired by Bartman tentatively titled "Fan Interference."

*Stats: Actor Kevin James, star of the CBS sitcom "King of Queens," pitched the project on Wednesday to Revolution Studio in Santa Monica, Calif.

*Sneed's translation: A script "inspired by Bartman" rather than "based on Bartman" probably means they won't have to pay Bartman a dime and make him a loser twice in one week.

FANatic ...

Dateline: The Frat line ... A junior at the University of Notre Dame, Johannes Masserer, who claims to be president of Notre Dame's "first and only fraternity," has offered fellow Golden Domer Bartman free room and board in his fraternity house.

To wit: "In addition, we have football tickets for [Bartman] for the remainder of the season," wrote Masserer, who hails from Frankenhardt, Germany.

Quoth Masserer: "... We do not believe in excessive 'sports- fanship.' At Notre Dame this is a difficult thing to do, being surrounded by thousands of fans valuing our Team over everything else."

The flipside: There are no official fraternities at Notre Dame. They are banned on campus. This "fraternity" is located off-campus. Tennis, anyone?

FANtastic ...

Dateline: The Renegade line ... comes word the Hudson Valley Renegades, a minor league ballclub in New York, is showing support for Bartman (who coaches the Renegades Youth baseball team in Niles) by making him their first-ever inductee into their Hall of Fame ... and giving Bartman's team a complete set of uniforms and gear!

The Rod report ...

Sneed is told Gov. Blagojevich dispatched a note to Florida Gov. Jeb Bush Wednesday making good on his bet.

*To wit: Blago congratulated Jeb on the Marlins' win; sadly noted his loss of a crate of fresh grapefruit and oranges; and was overnighting a shipment of Italian beef and deep dish pizza.

*The wit: Blago also added a postscript indicating the Marlins' Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez "would sure look good in a Cubs uniform."

Where's Shemp and Larry?

Hmmm. Did they join "Mo?"

*Illinois Dem Senate hopeful/ blackjack king/mega millionaire/ fiscal whiz Blair Hull, who recently lost communications director "Mo" Elleithee and press secretary Susan Lagano, is going up with another massive TV buy.

*Sneed sources say that if Hull's poll numbers don't move up, he may pull the plug on his $40 million candidacy.

Sneedlings ...

Singer Glenn Frey dined at Gibsons Monday night. ... Today's birthdays: Margot Kidder, 55; Arthur Miller, 88; George Wendt, 55; Norm Macdonald, 40; Ziggy Marley, 35; Eminem, 31; Wyclef Jean, 31. ... Saturday's birthdays: Chuck Berry, 77; B.J. Murray, 42; Peter Boyle, 70; Jean-Claude van Damme, 43; Illinois Senate Minority Leader Emil Jones, 68; Chicago elections czar Lance Gough, ageless; Pam Dawber, 52; and Mike Ditka, 64.