Independent on Sunday, The: There are no third acts in American lives: This Cultural Life: Kevin

What is your secret cultural passion?

TV DVD box-sets. Me and the wife will get them and then sit down, watch 22 episodes in a row - so 22 hours of programming straight, just go and go and go. You're in the zone where you just want to get to the end. You get to sleep, wake up, start again.

With munchies to keep you going?

Yes. If I'm on Atkins, a lot of mozzarella cheese. If I'm not on Atkins, then cereal.

What's the last series you watched in one go?

The Office. We watched seasons one and two back to back again just to get the ear breezed up for the accent over here.

What would your alternative job be?

Define?

If you weren't directing films, what would you do?

I would deal blackjack at a casino. I'm not generally good at social circles - I'm quite good at being on stage in front of a thousand, two thousand people, but when it comes to 10 people in a room, terrible. So the blackjack thing is the way to be social but not social at the same time. It's a powerful role, but you're not responsible for the outcome. It's like playing a mediator for God. The only thing is I can't shuffle very well just yet.

If you could tear down any building in the world, what would it be?

I don't know - I'm not an architecture guy. Never even notice the building. I listen to people talking about buildings. I'm more aural than visual. What was the last building someone mentioned?

Buckingham Palace.

Is that post-Henry?

Yes, it's a bit later.

Not built by Tudors then?

Why do you ask?

I focus on the Tudors because I'm a big fan of them. A Man For All Seasons is one of my favourite films. I first saw it when I was 13. I was a hardcore Catholic at that point, and Thomas More is a great contemporary saint. It's hard to identify with the saints in the Gospels. But it's easier to respect More. He's a very smart guy, and a lawyer. And there are very few lawyer saints.

What do you listen to in your car?

If I'm travelling with the kid, it's whatever the kid wants to hear. And if it's just me I listen to old-skool hip-hop. My favourite rhyme at the moment? "My Gosh, you look nice, put away that money, I'll buy that slice." Slick Rick, "Mona Lisa".

Which painting most corresponds to how you see yourself?

Warhol's Campbell's Soup Can. It's deceptive. It seems simple but it's not really. I make the kind of movies that look simple on the surface.

And which picture would your comic alter ego Silent Bob choose for himself?

The Scream.

Your house is on fire. What object do you save?

My computer. So that as soon as I got to the hotel I could post about the fire online. Because life doesn't happen until you post it on the fanbase. Sad but true.

Who would you cast as you in your Hollywood autobiopic?

One time someone asked me that, and I said Ben Affleck and I got ridiculed because he's two foot taller and much better looking and skinnier than me. So I'll say Ricky Gervais. Although Ben would be the guy I would choose because he knows me so well.

Who would be your nemesis in the third act?

It might be like my movies where there is no third act. But my nemesis would probably be the nameless faceless snipers who show up at our website and post crap pulling me and the movies apart. That's what I spend/waste most of my time going after. I should probably learn to ignore it but I can't.

Which cultural work changed your life?

Slacker, Richard Linklater's film. It was made on a very low budget, and that inspired me. It was more what the movie represented rather than what it was about. Like Christ.

Is your mind an art gallery or a porn museum?

It's the Louvre with Hustler as the gift store.

`Jersey Girl' is reviewed on page 23; the DVD `An Evening with Kevin Smith' is released on 21 June