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TODAY

"Joan of Arcadia" (7 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): Joan's back from therapy because she thought she was talking to God all last season.

"8 Simple Rules" (7 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): The principal (Adam Arkin) offers Cate a job as the school nurse in the third season opener, but it could be just so he can see Katey Sagal in a nurse's uniform.

"Complete Savages" (7:30 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): Mel Gibson directed, produced and offered a few suggestions for theopening episode of this loud (STAR)5/8 comedy about a single dad (a squandered Keith Carradine) trying to raise five teenage sons, each one more of a cliche than the last.

"JAG" (8 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): When this show launched in 1995, who would have guessed it would still be around tonight, opening its 10th season?

"Hope & Faith" (8 p.m., WLS-Channel 7) No matter what Charley says in this second season opener, Faith is here to stay. Her name's in the title and she's played by Kelly Ripa. It's really that simple.

"Veronica Mars" (8 p.m., WPWR-Channel 50): Check out this repeat of Wednesday's series debut and you'll realize the (STAR)(STAR)(STAR) modern-day Nancy Drew tale of a teen who helps her dad solve mysteries is a lot more interesting than it sounds, owing in no small measure to Kristen Bell's performance in the title role. After this, the show will run on Tuesdays.

"Almost Perfect" (8:30 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): Claude gets dumped by someone who obviously doesn't know she's the star of this series, which begins its third season.

"dr. vegas" (9 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): Rob Lowe is a house physician at a Las Vegas casino who loves to gamble a little too much in this unimpressive (STAR)(STAR) "Las Vegas" knockoff, which proves he may go a long time before finding a role that fits him as perfectly as Sam Seaborn on "The West Wing." Joe Pantoliano is as fun to watch as always as the hotel general manager, which is hardly a stretch for him. Tom Sizemore, still employed despite his run-ins with the law, offers a combination of hustle and muscle, while Sarah Lancaster is a novice blackjack dealer. What happens in this show's Vegas stays in Vegas -- mostly out of inertia.

"20/20" (9 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): How does Barbara Walters choose to exit "20/20" after 25 years? Interviewing Mary Kay LeTourneau. Perfect.

SATURDAY

" 'The Brady Bunch' Anniversary Marathon" (5 a.m., TV Land): As tough to dispose of as the AstroTurf in the Brady backyard (and just as recyclable, given its 14 spinoffs, movies and plays), the show that wouldn't die is honored this weekend. "Bunch" debuted 35 years ago at 7 p.m. Sunday, so TV Land is repeating the pilot at that exact time. It's part of a 48-hour marathon of "Bunch" reruns, interrupted at 9 p.m. Sunday by a pointless reunion, "Still Brady After All These Years," hosted by Jenny McCarthy.

"Cast Away" (7 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): ABC must be confident in the distinctiveness of "Lost," its new series about plane-crash survivors stranded in the South Pacific, to run a movie about a crash survivor stranded in the South Pacific. Very confident or very foolish.

"Hustle" (8 p.m., ESPN): Peter Bogdanovich, three decades removed from his days as the promising young director of "The Last Picture Show," "Paper Moon" and "What's Up, Doc?," struggles to make something of this tepid (STAR)(STAR) after-school special about shamed baseball great Pete Rose. In a film well-stocked with sleazy dolts, Tom Sizemore in a ridiculous wig comes across like king of the dimwits. Of course, for the right amount of dough, the real Charlie Hustle probably would have been willing to play himself, no matter how he's judged in the by-the-numbers script based on the report to commissioner Bart Giamatti that got Rose kicked out of baseball. (Repeated at 11 p.m. on ESPN Classic; 2 a.m. and noon Sunday on ESPN.)

SUNDAY

"60 Minutes" (6 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): These guys, opening their 37th season, are awfully confident they wouldn't make the recent mistakes of their Wednesday spinoff. Tune in this week to hear Fox News Channel's Bill O'Reilly say he's pro-gun control, against the death penalty, for civil unions, mindful of the environment and open to possibly voting for John Kerry. "I've known Kerry for 25 years. He's a patriot. I'm listening to what he has to say," he tells Mike Wallace.

"Clubhouse" (7 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): This (STAR)(STAR) Mel Gibson/ Aaron Spelling concoction about a Major League batboy (Jeremy Sumpter) coming of age while getting to hang out with his baseball idol (Dean Cain) wants to exist in a world of its own, free of the complications of the real world. Unfortunately this keeps it from resonating very deeply. Mare Winningham is the single mom who's hardworking and conscientious but manages not to know her kid has landed the job of his dreams. Christopher Lloyd is the crusty equipment manager/father figure who talks about how New Yorkers booed Joe DiMaggio, even though the Yankees don't seem to exist in this show's parallel universe. The series runs on Tuesdays after this preview.

"Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" (7 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): A widower with eight kids gets taken care of in this two-hour second- season opener. Here's hoping the tax people don't go after him.

"American Dreams" (7 p.m., WMAQ-Channel 5): Brandy is Gladys Knight in the third-season opener.

"Revenge of the Middle Aged Woman" (8 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): Christine Lahti stars.

"Jack & Bobby" (8 p.m., WGN-Channel 9): Christine Lahti stars.

"Law & Order: Criminal Intent" (8 p.m., WMAQ-Channel 5): A controversial radio personality (Fisher Stevens) appears to have killed himself in the fourth season opener. Tatum O'Neal is his estranged wife.

"101 Unforgettable 'SNL' Moments" (8 p.m., E!): This series, held up because of litigation over the rights to the clips, finally opens with moments 101 through 81.

"Crossing Jordan" (9 p.m., WMAQ-Channel 5): A tunnel. A blackout. A 12-car pileup. Jordan's on top of it in the fourth season opener.