Chicago Sun-Times: THURSDAY THOUGHTS

It was comforting to see Christopher Shays of Connecticut at Wednesday's congressional hearing on steroids refer to America's pro football conglomerate as Major League Football. Guess he hasn't been the beneficiary of any of Minnesota Vikings coach Mike Tice's ticket transactions for the NFL's Super Bowl.

*You want to end the use of anabolic steroids in sports? Zero tolerance rather than hero tolerance.

*The NFL is considering holding the 2006 draft at Disney World. Goofy selections being a part of the process, it seems only natural.

*When they make the sequel to Anger Management," Cubs right- hander Carlos Zambrano merits at least a cameo role. Zambrano is showing all the maturity of a screw-top bottle of wine.

*The Wrigley Trolley is about to start operation. As if Cubs fans already aren't being taken for enough of a ride.

*Jose and Ozzie Canseco have to pay more than $1 million in damages to two men who were beaten by the real Bash Brothers at a Miami Beach nightclub four years ago. It is believed to be the only time the former baseball players actually tried to take part in anything approaching a hit-and-run.

*Former Cubs second baseman Mark Grudzielanek hitting for the cycle Wednesday is one way for the St. Louis Cardinals to alleviate the worrying -- for a day -- about having closer Jason Isringhausen on the disabled list.

*Having the Cincinnati Reds score five runs in the third inning is one way for the Cubs to alleviate worrying about having a closer on the disabled list -- or on the roster. Unless you happen to rally to tie the game at, say, 7-7. No save or lead to blow. Then you win in the bottom of the ninth after your eighth-inning guy pitches the top of the ninth. Pure genius.

*You expected the White Sox to score seven runs in consecutive games? Consecutive weeks, maybe.

you gotta luv it // Much more than same old routine

Already Bulls management is looking ahead to next season.

Ahead and a body or two or three or four or more.

As in the Luvabulls.

The team will hold auditions for the dance troupe on June 25 at the United Center from 9 a.m.-5 p.m.

Members of the 25-woman group must be 21 or older. They appear at Bulls home games with the opportunity for greater exposure (as in promotional events, etc.). Persons interested in trying out for the dance squad should submit an application -- available at www.bulls.com or by sending a self-addressed, stamped envelope to: C.C. Company of Illinois, Inc., Attn: Luvabull Application, P.O. Box 4712, Wheaton, IL 60189-4712 -- by June 18.

Quick Hits runs this news as a public service for the faithful readers and as an excuse to run a photo of the Luvabulls that actually isn't gratuitous.

Tee party // Won and not done for Amiee

Danielle Amiee is the winner of The Big Break III."

Which means she earns a three-tournament exemption to play on the LPGA Tour for winning The Golf Channel competition.

She defeated Pam Crikelair in Tuesday's final episode.

Amiee was upset at the 16th tee when Crikelair bent down while Amiee was swinging.

Thank God I held on to my drive or that would have been out of bounds," Amiee said on a report at thegolfchannel.com. I couldn't even believe it. For her to do that, not even waiting for my ball to be hit, was pretty rude!"

Winning, however, is pretty cool.

Now that I've reached my goal," she said, I'm going to let it take its own course, and I can now move on to the next stage of my life."

nay to willie way // Vets have their says on Mays

The Say Hey Kid" didn't have a say in whether the folks in Hagerstown, Md., renamed a street for him.

So when opposition arose to such an honor, Willie Mays (below) took the high road.

Hagerstown was trying to offset the tough times (including racial slurs) he endured in his minor-league debut there in 1950.

But veterans resented renaming Memorial Boulevard to Willie Mays Way." Consequently, mayor William M. Breichner abandoned his plan to honor the Hall of Famer.

I think veterans who go to war and come back have the right to say what's on their mind," Mays, 73, told the Baltimore Sun. I don't live there. They're the veterans who live there. If the veterans are saying a street shouldn't be in my name, that's fine."

I really appreciate his comments," Breichner said. Mr. Mays is a very gracious individual, a true gentleman."

That's the way the world goes," Mays said. I was over what happened a long time ago.

If they want to name a street, that's fine. If they want to name something else, that's fine. If they don't, that's fine, too."

best foot forward // Tribute to a real Red Sock

For the true Curt Schilling fan -- and there must be some -- the ultimate collectible:

A Curt Schilling Bobble-Ankle doll.

The dolls are the product of the Brockton (Mass.) Rox, an independent minor-league team. They are available for $25 plus shipping and handling at bobbleankle.com, with half of the purchase price going to Curt's Pitch for ALS and the SHADE Foundation.

We really wanted to capture the spirit of what the Red Sox accomplished, to say thank you to the team for the thrills they gave us, for their perseverance and the inspiration they gave us and the unabashed joy they brought to millions," Rox president Jim Lucas, who introduced the dolls Wednesday at Fenway Park, told the Brockton Enterprise.

The dolls feature a bloodied sock that gained global attention when Schilling helped pitch the Red Sox to their first World Series championship in 86 years by beating the St. Louis Cardinals in the 2004 Fall Classic.

It definitely exceeded our expectations," Lucas said of the dolls.

Like the 2004 Red Sox season.

call it a heart attack // Series was no slam dunk for Bird

Watching the Boston Red Sox beat the St. Louis Cardinals in the 2004 World Series meant mixed feelings for former Celtics star Larry Bird (below).

The Indiana native is a Cardinals fan.

My loyalty is with the Cardinals, but my heart is with Boston," the Indiana Pacers' president of basketball operations told the Boston Globe. In that World Series, I couldn't lose. But I wanted to see Boston win. Truthfully, I think the Cardinals, if their pitching holds up, they have a chance to win this year. So last year I said, Let the Red Sox win.' It's amazing that Boston has them, and the Patriots winning three out of four. When I played here, it was just us and Marvin Hagler."

Bird's favorite baseball player is Red Sox outfielder Manny Ramirez.

I just love to watch him bat," he said. There's something about him. He's always going to get a piece of the ball. There's just certain players that I really like, and he's one of 'em. Every time he comes to bat, I always try to watch. If I'm going to another game [on his television], if he's coming up I stay and watch him bat. That's the first time I've ever done that.

I've seen good pitchers pitch and I've seen good batters, but I don't think I've ever seen anyone like Manny. His eyes are unbelievable. If he looks back and says a called strike was a ball, it was a ball and it was the wrong call. I've never seen anybody like that."

retiring types // Munoz siblings head to sidelines

It has been quite a week for the athletically inclined Munoz family.

First, University of Tennessee tackle Michael, son of former Cincinnati Bengals Pro Football Hall of Fame offensive lineman Anthony Munoz, decides to quit the sport after not being selected in the NFL draft.

Then Michael's sister, Ohio State guard Michelle, ends her college basketball career after three ankle surgeries in three years. Michelle, a two-time Ohio Ms. Basketball, began her career at Tennessee in 2001. She will become a student assistant for the Buckeyes and go to graduate school.

It's been frustrating," Michelle told the Cincinnati Enquirer, but I'm a firm believer that God allows things to happen in your life, and that he's using this for a purpose."

Her most recent surgery was two weeks ago.

If I stop now, I'll be able to run, exercise, play occasionally, be healthy," she said. I chose my health."

QUOTEWORTHY

"I saw what the governor makes. That's like four hands of blackjack."

charles barkley,

former NBA star, on why he has not run for governor of Alabama, as he once said he would