Byline: Will Leitch
I am not a Maxim Man. I have no idea what clothes a man is supposed to wear, none of my female friends gallivant around in bikinis, and I'm not sure I even know what a "gadget" is. To be honest, Maxim has always scared me; it's a world where everyone listens to Limp Bizkit, watches "The Man Show," and drinks beer out of football helmets. Still, it's just a magazine - nothing to be frightened of.
That was, until I went to the pharmacy. There, next to the herbal supplements, was Maxim Just For Men - a haircare color kit aimed at the twentysomething set. It's no longer just a magazine; suddenly it's a fashion statement branded in that oh-so-Maxim way. The selection of hues - red, blonde, black, and brown - are artfuly renamed Red Rum, Bleach Blond, BlackJack and Sandstorm and are sold alongside Maxim Magazine's Haircolor Gel with fade-resistant UV filters. This stuff was everywhere. I had to find out what was going on.
"[Just For Men] approached us. They were looking for an entry into the younger men's market," says Barry Pincus, manager of brand development for Dennis Publishing. "It was logical, really. They know hair color, and we know our guys."
Yes, but did they know me? There was only one way to find out. It was time to go Sandstorm!
My two female roommates were assigned the operation. During the hour-long dyeing process I felt nothing, but while I was washing out the mixture, I could feel something rumble from within me. I called out to my roommates: "Hey, are you chicks done watching Oxygen? Because 'Battlebots' is coming on." I was a changed man. My muddy brown locks now had nifty Sandstorm highlight and I could feel my roommates look at me differently: "Oh, Will!"
I had a date the next night, our second. The first one had gone fabulously; we had discussed literature, our families, and our futures. As we sat down for dinner she noticed the tinting immediately. "Will, your hair is lighter ... and livelier!" Yeah, you better believe it, doll. I looked her in the eye. "Enough talking, baby. Let's get down to lovin'!"
You know, you'd be surprised how sharp Maxim's hair care products look in the mirror when you're wiping off the wine that's been splashed in your face.
But no matter. I'm a Maxim Man now. It's not just a magazine, it's a lifestyle. Red Rum, here I come!
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