eWEEK: Lost Wages ... Again!

Not there! Not again! But yes. Spencer's editor was having a J. Jonah Jameson moment and was not to be crossed. He insisted that the Enterprise Enquirer repack his duffel and fly to Vegas. It didn't come at a good time; the risk-loving Ringmaster of Rumor had just lost more than one paycheck in an office pool for the Powerball lottery.

There was some consolation. Most of his time would be spent indoors, out of the 114-degree summer heat. And he could hope for a few nuggets of world-weary wisdom from CA World celeb keynoter Henry Kissinger, the man who was responsible for the old world order, which gave way to the new world order, which gave rise to the mess we're in today.

To keep from nodding off as the former secretary of state's guttural bass echoed through Mandalay Bay's keynote hall, Spence scrolled through his tip box to find that someone at google.com must think the search engine should be renamed giggle.com. Type "weapons of mass destruction" in the search field, urged the tipster. Then hit the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button and read the error message carefully.

Apparently inspired by the summits of which the big industrial countries are fond, the world's "Big Seven" Linux players, including IBM, HP and CA, met recently in an undisclosed location to decide how to run the world—or at least the open-source subset of it. The idea is to form a united front when dealing with Linux distributors, which, by the way, weren't present at the meeting. "We all had the same problems with support," a Tabby tattler whispered to the gaming Grimalkin between rounds at Luxor's blackjack tables. They also want to exert some leverage on "the most successful U.S. Linux vendor" so that the vendor will play ball with the others, the deepthroat disclosed. Spence adjusted his lucky red hat as he prepared to play another round. At that moment, Spence's cell phone went berserk. A Katt crony was calling from the posh Oak Bar at Boston's Fairmont Copley Plaza. It seems Sun, not content to push lawsuit-safe Solaris versus SCO-plagued Linux, may offer its own penguin-powered OS distribution. Sun now sells Red Hat Linux, but McNealy & Co. may be cooking up an open-source- and SCO-friendly Linux version, intoned the tipster.

Deciding his red headwear was not so lucky after all, the wagering Wizard of Wisdom migrated to a baccarat table, where one consultant who's worked with CA storage products for years whispered that CA has no formal review process for bug fixes once a product is shipped. The consultant said that when he asks about any known bugs that still need to be addressed, CA never responds. Then once the storage products are installed and some problems come to light, CA makes the information available. "New CA, same as the old CA," perpended the Puss.

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