As she looks back, Janice can't believe that she and her husband, Steven, didn't figure out sooner what was wrong with their 13-year-old son. Kevin had always been a happy, sociable child who earned good grades. Now he was growing more emotional and exhausted by the day.
The Northern California couple (who asked us not to print their last name) took their son to a psychiatrist and a sleep-study center, but nothing helped. Kevin claimed to be too sick to go to school so many mornings that he missed most of eighth grade.
Janice, a nurse with a technical-writing background, and Steven, a software engineer, eventually discovered the problem: Kevin was spending 18 hours a day on one of the eight computers the family had scattered throughout the house. And he spent the bulk of that time playing an online game, fighting monsters, gathering equipment, and rising to much-coveted higher experience levels. "It became an addiction," Janice says.
David Greenfield, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist in West Hartford, Connecticut, has no doubt that Internet addiction is a real problem. The founder of the Center for Internet Studies, Greenfield cites a study of more than 17,000 users that suggests about 6 percent of all people with access to the Internet develop an addiction to it. That figure is even higher for kids and teens.
Like other substances and behaviors that can be addictive, such as drugs or even exercise, the Internet has the potential to alter a person's brain chemistry when he uses it, Greenfield says. When someone gets caught up in the thrill of winning an auction on Ebay, for example, or conquering opponents in an online game, the experience translates into a physiological response: the pulse quickens and the brain is flooded with pleasure-inducing chemicals. But just as users can become hooked on the physical rush of certain activities, they also can develop a tolerance, requiring more time online to get the same good feelings. And they can go through withdrawal if they lose their access. Greenfield relies on two criteria to help determine whether people are addicted to the Internet: They use it on a regular basis to alter their mood or consciousness, or it interferes with their life in any way.
Most experts who study the issue agree with Greenfield's assessment, though more studies are necessary before online obsessions are recognized medically as addictions. Meanwhile, for anyone who cares to troll discussion groups and message boards, there's plenty of anecdotal evidence of the problem. Users swap tales of lost jobs and destroyed relationships from Web abuse. For some, it can be an out-of-control shopping binge in an online store, or spending excessive time and money in virtual casinos and pornography sites.
Greenfield's e-mail is filled with stories of kids getting in trouble at various sites around the World Wide Web, even ones that normally require "proof" (such as a credit card number) that the user is an adult. Every day, parents tell Greenfield about finding thousands of dollars in charges from sexually explicit Web sites or gambling sites on their credit card statements.
Kimberly Young, Ph.D., a psychologist in Bradford, Pennsylvania, and executive director of the Center for On-Line Addiction, has heard similar tales of excess, such as the 15-year-old who downloaded 8,000 pornographic images onto the family computer.
When kids become consumed, the problem often goes undetected because those same kids tend to be the most technologically savvy members of the household, says Young, author of Tangled in the Web. "The Internet didn't exist when the parents were kids, so today's teens have a greater ability to hide their access--and access information that they should not."
Although they may be wizards at handling the computer, young people typically don't have the maturity necessary to process the images and words that flow from it, Greenfield says.
"There's so much stuff available that's potentially toxic--hate issues, sex, violence--you name it, it's all there," he says. "They're very vulnerable to having access to all the information in the world without any supervision or buffers that they'd normally have in accessing information." Such "buffers" include the staffers who would keep a minor from entering a real-world casino or adult book store. In cyberspace, a determined kid can stroll right in and quickly get a "seat" at a poker table, or he or she can have a look at sexual material that would make most adults blanch.
Here are some steps you can take to make sure your child's Internet interests don't become obsessions.
* Set ground rules now. "As soon as they bring the computer into the home, parents really need to get involved," Young says. If you already have a computer and haven't set usage guidelines, set them today.
* Put the computer in a public area of the house, such as the family room.
* Set reasonable time limits on how long your child can use it each day. Even instant-messaging and chatting, relatively innocent but time-consuming activities, need close watching so you know who your child is talking to.
* Get up to speed. Learn how to use the computer yourself. Become familiar with the Internet and its activities. Visit shops and auctions, chat rooms and messages boards, so you can better monitor where your child travels on the Web.
* Enlist the computer's help. Most browsing software has a built-in menu where you can check recent activity history. Using the Help command can lead you to this feature.
You also can install software programs that control your kids' Internet use through a variety of methods. This software is designed to withstand the tampering of a young hacker, yet is simple enough for inexperienced users to install. The software typically lets you block objectionable sites and other content, enforce time limits (especially valuable for governing online garners), and even track individual user's movements so you can see exactly where each child has been. Such programs include Net Nanny and CYBERsitter. They're available at most computer stores or online for around $40. You can even download trial versions of some programs for a free test-drive.
* Watch for danger signs. The most common warning signals that your child is becoming too engrossed in Internet activities are unsettlingly similar to signs of drug dependency: sudden social isolation, moodiness, or unwillingness to communicate; a drop in grades; or disinterest in previous real-life social activities. If you notice these signs, it's time to have a talk.
* Look for real-life problems too. Internet addiction often goes hand-in-hand with other problems, such as depression, anxiety, or use of alcohol or drugs, Young says. Be sure to consider your child's overall mental health when discussing their Internet habits.
* Check your bills. Keep a watchful eye for unusual charges--and not just on your credit card bills. Many sites allow users to apply charges and gambling fees or to pay for auctions and other goods and services through telephone accounts or even directly from a bank account.
After some drastic measures, which included taking away his computer and enrolling him in a school for teens with emotional problems, Janice says Kevin, now 16, is "back to himself again." These parents also are making sure to teach their younger son and daughter how to use the Internet properly. And instead of keeping eight computers scattered around the house, Janice says, "We now have the computer in the middle of the family room."
SENIORS GET STUCK IN THE WEB TOO
Kids and teens aren't the only age group at particular risk for Internet addiction. While it's true that only 15 percent of people age 65 and older have Internet access, obsessions are still a problem for seniors.
When older users do go overboard, it's often in online casinos, says David Greenfield, Ph.D., psychologist and author of Virtual Addiction. Experts have long known that older people are particularly susceptible to spending too much money in real-life casinos, he says. But the online versions can pose special risks.
These gambling sites operate from outside the United States and, unlike typical brick-and-mortar American casinos, aren't regulated by state gaming commissions, which protect customers from unfair house rules and gambling practices. And, unlike gambling away tangible poker chips or buckets of quarters, players may not realize how great their losses are--until they show up later on their credit card statements.
In addition, some older people are not at the top of their cognitive abilities--especially where computers are concerned--so they may be more likely to use poor judgment, Greenfield says.
