Men's Fitness: A guy's guide to the new fall shows

BRAIN-DAMAGE ALERT
Guy's Guide to the New Fall Shows

NOW THAT THE new TV season is officially here, we thought you'd want
some help in sorting the decent shows from the usual dreck. The
following programs are the ones most likely to catch your interest, so
read our analysis to find out whether they'll really be worth your
precious time and clicker-finger energy. (Keep in mind that, due to the
fast-changing world of television, a few of these shows may already
have been canceled--and a few network executives already fired--by the
time you read this.)

SHOW            NETWORK       STAR             WHAT'S THE DEAL?

Karen Sisco       ABC     Carla Gugino     The U.S. marshal played by
                                           Jennifer Lopez in the film
                                           Out of Sight gets her own
                                           series.
Threat Matrix     ABC     James Benton     An elite task force defends
                                           the country from terrorism.
Skin              Fox     Ron Silver       A young dude whose family is
                                           in law enforcement and a
                                           girl whose family leads an
                                           adult-entertainment empire
                                           make beautiful music
                                           together.
A Minute With     Fox     Norm MacDonald   A high-powered reporter
Stan Hooper                                moves to a small Midwestern
                                           town, where he trades barbs
                                           with the yokels.
Two and a         CBS     Charlie Sheen    Swinger Sheen's Malibu
Half Men                                   lifestyle is interrupted by
                                           the presence of uptight
                                           brother John Cryer and his
                                           10-year-old son.
Cold Case         CBS     Kathryn Morris   In yet another police
                                           procedural, a squad's sole
                                           female detective works on
                                           unsolved mysteries.
The Handler       CBS     Joe Pantoliano   The costar of The Sopranos,
                                           The Fugitive and the first
                                           Matrix leads a group of
                                           undercover FBI asents.
Coupling          NBC     Colin Ferguson   This copy of a British
                                           comedy is touted as Friends
                                           with sex.
Las Vegas         NBC     James Caan       Jimmy--we call him
                                           Jimmy--plays the head of a
                                           casino surveillance team.
Miss Match        NBC     Alicia           When the pert honey from
                          Silverstone      Clueless plays a divorce
                                           lawyer turned matchmaker,
                                           the laughs--and the
                                           love--never stop.

SHOW                   THE UPSHOT

Karen Sisco     Gugino is cute but no J. Lo.
                Still, the Elmore Leonard-derived
                movie was cool, so
                we're cautiously optimistic.
Threat Matrix   24 showed us that fighting
                silly, made-up terrorists can
                be a blast. Last year's The
                Agency, not to mention the
                evening news, demonstrated
                that more realistic dangers
                are not so much fun.
Skin            You can't actually show
                pornography on network TV,
                can you? Oh, wait, this is Fox!
                We'll give Skin an episode or
                two to demonstrate that
                it's hot stuff and not just a
                porn-again soap opera.
A Minute With   We'll watch funny dude MacDonald
Stan Hooper     in anything, right up until it's
                canceled ... which usually takes
                about eight weeks.
Two and a       Sorry, Charlie ... like many
Half Men        once-vital actors before you,
                you're about to be neutered by a
                kid and a laugh track.
Cold Case       We've got three Law & Orders,
                two CSIs and now this? We'll
                watch just to see if there really are
                other ways to kill a guy.
The Handler     Sure, everyone's a little bit
                tired of feds on TV ... but,
                hell, it's Joey Pants.
Coupling        Showtime has sex; so does
                Cinemax. We'll settle for a
                few decent jokes.
Las Vegas       The Godfather meets Casino?
                We're all over it like your
                grandma on the nickel slots.
Miss Match      Yeah, right. We just put this
                one in to see if you were
                paying attention.