Computer Gaming World: Casino Inc.

PUBLISHER: KONAMI CORPORATION

DEVELOPER: HOTHOUSE CREATIONS

ESRB RATING: MATURE; VIOLENCE, SUGGESTIVE THEMES, GAMBLING

REQUIREMENTS: PENTIUM II 450, 64MB RAM, 1GB HARD DRIVE SPACE

RECOMMENDED REQUIREMENTS: PENTIUM II 600, 128MB RAM

MULTIPLAYER SUPPORT: NONE

PRICE: $29.99

I must be uncool not to like a tycoon game with hookers, hit men and professional card cheats, right?

At its core, Casino Inc. is an average little tycoon game where you buy gear, place it around an empty interior, hire staff, and watch the money roll in. But they added a twist to separate it from the tycoon pack: “mature content,” including heavies, hookers, and white trash walking around with bras or beefcake bubbles over their heads to show they’re horny. Unfortunately, none of it is particularly compelling and adds only marginally to gameplay. While it’s kind of fun, once, to have a bouncer take some poor stiff downstairs for some discipline, it’s hardly the kind of blockbuster material you build a game around. Then there’s Casino Inc.’s fascination with puking patrons. The folks at Hothouse don’t hold their liquor well—the second I set the drink strength at my bars to medium the casino floor suddenly looked like I’d just served a buffet of three-week-old shrimp at a Legionnaire’s convention. The net result was that I needed to hire another janitor.

I thought I’d have the freedom to build, say, a biker casino with lots of strippers and heavy metal music. Instead, I got stuck meeting pedestrian objectives like “Increase your gambling share by 20 percent.” The game teases you with the dark side of casinos, then sticks you in micromanagement hell. There’s no chance to enjoy watching card cheats and juvenile delinquents disrupt your competitors when the voice-over guide is continually whining, “The staff is asking for a raaaaise.” Constantly hiring and firing staff while monitoring smiley face morale markers hardly qualifies as Tarentino-esque adult fun. So maybe I’m uncool, maybe not, but I’m old enough to recognize a bad game with a weak hook and no heart.

VERDICT (2): Been there, done that business sim with hookers.