Sunday Mirror: REAL LIFE: GAMBLING ADDICT: 'I BLEW pounds 25,000 ON SLOT MACHINES'

'When I read about casinos opening up around the country, including here in Wakefield, I worry about how dangerous it is. People don't realise how easy it is to get addicted to gambling. I was only nine when I first played on a slot machine, but I was hooked straight away.

My dad used to take me and my older brother, Mark, now 34, with him to his local rugby club in Bridlington every weekend. He'd give us a couple of quid to put in the machines to keep us happy while he chatted to his mates. I remember changing my pound into coppers and standing there for hours, mesmerised by the lights and the "clunk" as the money went in. Whenever I won the pounds 3 jackpot, I'd put the coins straight back in. When you're a kid, it's so exciting to turn 2p into pounds 3.

As soon as I turned 18 - and was old enough to play the fruit machines in the Wakefield arcades - I started gambling regularly. At first I'd use any loose change I had, then pound coins. I got a part- time job as a debt collector and, because I still lived at home with my mum and didn't have to pay bills, I had spare cash.

Soon, I was blowing my weekly wages - pounds 150 - in the amusement arcades. My friends gave up on me because I always wanted to go off gambling by myself. None of them gambled - they had more sense. All I could think of was getting more money, so I'd borrow from my family, saying I needed cigarettes or food. I've always been an honest person, so no one dreamed I was lying. I'd say I was going to a mate's house or to see my auntie. When you have an addiction you become very good at hiding it.

I've been with my boyfriend, Carl, since I was 16. He runs his own car repair centre and he's a big softie, so he was happy to lend me money. I told him I needed it for clothes and stuff - pounds 50 here, pounds 60 there. I always bought cheap things to show him, but I said they cost a lot more. Over the years I borrowed about pounds 10,000 from him.

Our beautiful daughter, Ellie, was born in February 1999, and I was determined to give her everything she needed. I kept my part- time job and my mum, who lives nearby, looked after Ellie. Soon, however, I was sneaking off to the arcade again whenever I could. Mum was happy to babysit, but I felt so guilty. I missed a lot of "firsts" with Ellie. One day I came home and found she'd taken her first steps. I realised she was forming a much closer bond with my mum than she was with me, and that really hurt.

Carl and I had our own home, but he paid the mortgage and the bills, so any money I had, I spent on gambling. One day, a loan shark knocked on the door, offering to lend me money - so I took it. I didn't think about the repayments. It was so easy - I took out loans with six or seven different firms and ended up owing about pounds 15,000. I was scared to answer the front door in case someone came for their money.

One day, Carl gave me pounds 500 to pay into the bank for the mortgage. I was on my way - but when I passed the arcade, I couldn't resist. I'm ashamed to say I went in and blew the lot.

Soon after, a letter arrived saying the mortgage payments were in arrears. As Carl had already left for work, I hid the letter, but others followed. I ignored them until I got one saying we were being threatened with repossession and would have to move out in a week. I knew I had to come clean.

I'm sure Carl suspected something was wrong because I was always so moody and depressed. That night, I told him exactly what I'd done. He didn't get angry - I think he was more upset I'd been lying to him for years. Carl didn't throw me out, but I felt so guilty I decided to stay at my mum's with Ellie. I told Mum what I'd been doing, but I don't think it sunk in quite how bad things were. Over seven years, I'd run up debts of pounds 25,000. I knew I couldn't go back to Carl until I'd stopped gambling. So I plucked up the courage to call Gamblers Anonymous and started seeing a counsellor. They were great because they made me realise I had an addiction, and that I wasn't alone. In the meantime, Carl worked extra hard to sort out the mortgage arrears. I promised I'd never gamble again and avoided going in to town so I wouldn't be tempted. Amazingly, he took me back and we got married in May 2003.

It's going to take me years to pay off all my debts. I just wish I'd never started gambling. Our second child is due any day, and I realise my family's the most important thing in the world. I can't believe I risked everything just for a quick thrill on a fruit machine.'

GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS

l Gamblers Anonymous (GA) is a 'fellowship' of people who have joined together to do something about their gambling problems.

l The GA concept is that gambling is a progressive illness. It can be helped by following a simple 12-step programme. The programme is a guide to living a normal life without gambling.

l You don't have to pay to go to meetings, and no personal details are required. GA is self-supporting from voluntary collections.

l Call Gamblers Anonymous on 0870 050 8880 for more information, or visit www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk.

l Anyone affected by a compulsive gambler - be it a friend or family member - can contact Gam-Anon. See www.gamanon.org.uk, or call 0870 050 8880.